


Reasons Why The Avengers Should Never Try Their Hand At Matchmaking

by respoftw



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:10:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3845290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pietro knows he looks good.</p>
<p>A lifetime of eyes being drawn to him when he walks into a room has instilled in him a casual confidence about his attractiveness.</p>
<p>Some people find his attitude cocky and arrogant but at the end of the day, Pietro has never had to work to get who he wants.</p>
<p>Until Barton came along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reasons Why The Avengers Should Never Try Their Hand At Matchmaking

Pietro knows he looks good.

 

A lifetime of eyes being drawn to him when he walks into a room has instilled in him a casual confidence about his attractiveness.

 

Some people find his attitude cocky and arrogant but at the end of the day, Pietro has never had to work to get who he wants.

 

Until Barton came along.

 

He's seen Clint looking. Hawkeye may be sharp-eyed and stealthy but you have to go a hell of a long way to hide from Pietro's sharp reflexes. He's lost count of the number of times that he's caught Barton in the act of just looking away from him, of rounding a corner to see a black clad figure disappear out of sight.

 

So, he _knows_ that Clint wants him. He can recognise the signs. The infuriating thing though, is that the old man refuses to do anything about it.

 

Ironically, Pietro is used to being chased. He doesn't know how to do the chasing.

 

He tries the tricks that have worked for him in the past. He wears his tightest shirts and when that doesn't work, he takes to walking around the base half naked until Cap politely pulls him aside and explains that he's making the ladies uncomfortable. (Who's he kidding, Maria, Pepper and Natasha have been loving it – Pietro knows that Cap is just starting to feel a little inferior.)

 

None of his usual fall backs work.

 

The annoying thing is: Pietro wants Clint too. Their working relationship may have started out a little bit rocky but Clint's utter dedication to being a hero, despite being the most vulnerable member of the Avengers is a hell of a draw.

 

Clint had won Pietro's respect, his admiration and, coincedentally lining up with the first time he saw Barton coming out of the gym shower, his interest.

 

He eventually bites the bullet and asks his teammates for advice on what he should do.

 

Wanda offers to send Hawkeye a vision of Clint and Pietro together in bed. “Show him what exactly he is missing, brother.”

 

Bless her, she means well but he thinks that may come off a little creepy and besides, he's heard about what Loki did to Clint. No way in hell is he going to be complicit in doing something similar. He'd rather cut off his own arm (and oh boy, is he not thinking about what that says of his feelings for Clint.)

 

Maria and Pepper spend half an hour squealing incoherently and then proceed to get drunk on red wine and talk about how cute they would be together. No help there, then.

 

Natasha pins him to the wall, a knife to his throat and one resting against his belly as she threatens to do despicable and terrifying things to him if he messes Clint around. Pietro is _not_ in the mood to stick around and talk strategy after that particular meeting.

 

Cap is no help at all. The man blushes and stammers his way through what Pietro is convinced was an attempt at the birds and bees talk and finally claps him on the arm with a reminder that abstinence is a solid option.

 

Vision seems fascinated by the idea and starts to recite encyclopaedic essays on the mechanics of gay love.

 

Sam and Rhodey spend half an hour squealing incoherently and then proceed to get drunk on red wine and talk about how cute they would be together. No help there, then. (And also a weird case of deja vu.)

 

Banner interrupts Pietro rant half way through with an “I'm gonna stop you there” and walks out the room without another word.

 

Tony cackles for a full ten minutes while Pietro huffs and taps his feet impatiently. Just as he's about to write Tony off as another lost cause, the billionaire catches his breath and winks, tellling Pietro to leave it to him.

 

*

It's movie night at Avengers HQ and yet again, Pietro has been unsuccessful in his attempt to sit next to Clint.

 

He slumps on the love seat next to Tony with a pout. The love seat is really too small for two grown men to comfortably sit in but Tony just spreads out, legs tangled up with his so Pietro thinks nothing of it.

 

Then, twenty minutes into the film, Tony's hand is suddenly resting dangerously high up his leg. Seriously, Stark's fingers are millimeters from brushing across his crotch.

 

He's about to tell Tony to move when he catches Clint glaring at them out of the corner of his eye.

 

OK, he sees what Tony is doing.

 

The rest of the film gets largely ignored as the Avengers find more entertainment in watching the battle of wits going on in the room.

 

Pietro and Tony graduate from vaguely inappropriate touches to full on caresses as the night goes on while Clint grinds his jaw in the corner, the vein in his temple throbbing more noticeably every minute.

 

Tony eventually decides that he doesn't have all day and Pietro suddenly finds himself gasping out as Tony's tongue forces it's way into his mouth. Pietro barely has time to mentally congratulate Pepper on tapping that before Tony is yanked violently away from him and Clint's fist crashes into Stark's jaw.

 

Sam and Cap restrain a red faced Barton immediately as Tony picks himself of the floor with a wince.

 

“You”, he points at Pietro “are welcome. And you,” a point at Clint this time “about time you wised up. Now please, take the kid into your room and fuck the hell out of him so we can get some peace and quiet around here.”

 

*

Pietro may do a quick run to the little bakery in DC that Tony loves the next morning for bear claws as a thank you.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have an illness and it is called Hawksilver.
> 
> Tumblr: [pietrolovesclint](http://pietrolovesclint.tumblr.com)


End file.
